i'm not setting foot into that church again unless it's for a wedding or funeral. i'm serious. i'm so sick of people trying to change me. in the end, i just have to do what's right.

and i don't know if i can go on the guatemala trip i've been so excited about.

Currently Listening Gold By Sublime see related

in the midst of everything that has been happening at school lately, i've come to a conclusion i think would have taken me a lot more to find if everything hadn't been happening. everything is a learning experience and from everything that happens to me, i get a little tougher and learn how to handle myself just a little bit better. with everything that happens, i either gain a great deal of respect or lose respect for someone. in everything that happens i find somewhere, the meaning of things. i understand people better, and how they work, and what will happen.

and everything is going to be ok. i just need to live in what is happening right now and not let anything get me down. i need to find new ways to deal with the injustices that surround me without digging myself into a deeper hole. when i just want to stand up and yell i need to stand up and take a breathe of fresh air and say "it's ok. i'm ok with that" and understand that one day, things really will be ok and i'll be calling the shots. and everything is going to be ok.

i may not be everything i want to be, just yet, and i probably never will be, but at least i can learn from everything and become a better person. in light of everything that i'm surrounded with, and the examples the adults around me have set, i amaze myself how far i've come. and how far i have yet to go.

i feel like i surround myself with people i know, but don't really know. i wish people would just tell me their innermost feelings and thoughts, and come to me when they need to make sense of something, or just have someone to sit with in nonesense... come to me with things that really mean something. i love having real conversations but nobody wants that anymore. i challenge everyone that reads this, and that i know fairly well to get to know me better. i think it will benefit us both... just that much.

Currently Listening Chroma By Cartel see related

my mom says i have an authority issue, but i'd say it's just that all of the adults that have authority over me are ignorant and closed-minded individuals. plus i don't like being told how to think.

it's like, just because i'm under 18 doesn't mean you can take away my right to be my own person. fuck you.